


Don't Look Back, Just Carry-On

by Snapp



Series: Adventures of Fox the Tooka [4]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: But He has Ponds and the Others to Help, Fox Has it Rough, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, for now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25994404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snapp/pseuds/Snapp
Summary: Ponds, at Fox facing rejection from his batchmates, thoroughly pissed and done, comforts Fox, pisses on his batchmates, and dies, all in one heartbreaking one-shot.
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox & CC-6454 | Ponds
Series: Adventures of Fox the Tooka [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895851
Comments: 14
Kudos: 85





	Don't Look Back, Just Carry-On

**Author's Note:**

> Some Fox and Ponds bc I talk about their relationship but haven't shown it, and I also wanted to feel sad.

Commander Ponds stalked angrily through the Senate Halls, pissed out of his mind.  _ What right does Wolffe have to decide these things! What right does Cody have to disavow Fox, to declare him to dar’manda. _

He moved around Senators, grateful that General Windu had given him the day off after sensing the anger in his heart. 

He caught sight of Thire and Stone standing outside of Fox’s office, buckets on and backs straight. They tensed at his appearance, moving protectively in front of the door. 

Stone growled and Thire was making himself bigger, most likely sizing him up for a fight. 

“At ease,” Thorn walked out sans his bucket, grief and anger wracking his frame, his shoulders were hunched and hair was messy, “he’s not involved.”

Stone didn’t budge, but Thire shifted back. Thorn sighed and waved him into the room. What Ponds saw made his heart drop.

The room was dim, papers and datapads were strewn about. Ponds initially didn’t see his brother, but upon further looking, Fox was crouched underneath his desk, eyes blank and catatonic. 

“Fox’ika,” Ponds whispered, “Fox.”

His vod didn’t move, just sat there and tremored. Thorn was hovering behind him, worried. 

“Fox’ika,” Thorn rumbled.

Fox made a mournful sound, but still didn’t move. Ponds crouched down and Thorn tensed. Ponds stopped and waited, knowing Thorn was  _ far _ closer than they were to Fox. Thorn huffed in apology and nodded.

“Laam,” Ponds whispered, placing a hand on Fox’s arm. Fox’s muscles coiled and froze, tensed. 

Ponds sat down and wrapped his arm around Fox’s shivering shoulders. He pulled Fox’s head down and maneuvered him between his arms, hugging Fox.

“Fox’ika,” he soothed as Fox stared blankly.

Ponds turned to Thorn, who looked just as pained at Fox’s wailing. It was at that moment that Thorn had a small thing for Fox, and neither Fox nor their batch ever saw it, but Ponds sure did. 

He nodded in understanding, and Ponds motioned for Thorn to give them some alone time. Thorn looked suspicious for a moment before signing,  _ if you hurt him General Windu will have to find a new Commander. I know for a FACT that Neyo has been planning his own general’s demise.  _

Ponds dipped his head and Thorn shuffled out. He pulled the brother in his arms closer, and moved to stand.

He slowly removed Fox’s armor, tossing plastoid to the floor. He removed his own and then helped Fox out of his blacks. He froze.

Fox’s arms were covered in cuts and burns, hastily bandaged. His back was covered in burn scars and large cuts and blaster marks, there were huge marks slashing along his stomach and abdomen. 

“Fox’ika…” Ponds whispered.

Fox whimpered, pulling the back to himself. Ponds held tight, grasping his wrist.

“Why,”

“Can’t, s’too much, I-I,” Fox curled in on himself. 

Ponds lifted Fox up, wrapping one arm under his shoulders.

Fox gave a small keen, but went with him. Ponds walked them to the fresher connected to his office. He stood Fox up on the side of the fresher and moved to the side to turn it on.

He removed the bandages around his arms, grabbing Fox’s first aid kit. He grabbed the burn cream and bacta patches. He taped gauze over bacta and massaged Fox’s arms. 

He pressed his nose in Fox’s curly hair and moved them into the fresher. He sat them down and grabbed Fox’s shampoo and scrubbed it into his hair. Fox ducked into Pond’s chest, making a small noise as Ponds scratched his hair. He traced scars with a light hand, holding his brother close. He wondered how Wolffe,  _ who was literally sleeping with Fox _ , didn’t see any of this. 

They sat like this until the water shut off. He sighed and helped Fox up and toweled him off. 

Fox shivered, not saying anything, not even moving save for the occasional twitching. Ponds helped Fox into his blacks and dropped him into the cot that Fox kept in his office. 

“Relax,” Ponds ordered softly, Fox finally turned to him. 

Ponds’s heart fell, Fox’s bright golden eyes were dimmed, lips quivering, and stature sad. Tears were pooling in his shiny eyes, and Fox just shattered. 

He broke down into Ponds’s shoulder, Ponds pressed his hand into Fox’s hair, pulling his face deeper into the crook of his neck.

They sat like that for a while, Ponds rocking Fox back and forth as his ori’vod cried. 

“Udesii, Fox, udesii,” 

“Can-can’t,” Fox stuttered, “s’bright.”

“I know, relax, I know,” he soothed.

Fox keened and wailed. Ponds kept mumbling comforts 

Until Fox calmed, Ponds was there and cradled him in his arms. 

Fox’s crys tapered until he fell asleep. His nose red and sniffling, eyes swollen and teary, and his face was clammy. 

Ponds’s arms loosened around Fox, who slumped on his chest. He shimmied down, adjusting Fox so he was laying along the cot. 

He kept his hand in Fox’s hair, stroking and messing with Fox’s curls. Fox sniffled and whimpered as he slept, it seemed that even in sleep he couldn’t get any peace. 

Ponds’s hand tightened in Fox’s hair when he thought about Wolffe.  _ How dare he for kriff’s sake _ . Fox and Wolffe had been two parts of the same whole since cadet-hood, and for Wolffe to turn on his cyare like this, for kark’s sake they were probably going to be riduurok.

But that was gone, and Ponds had the foresight to know if they survived this war Wolffe would regret it, especially with the looks Thorn had been giving Fox. Looks of adoration and completely love-struck everytime Fox so much as opened his mouth. Looks that Wolffe had once given Fox, until Geonosis, until Fox’s reassignment. 

Ponds prayed that Fox would be happy, and when the time came, hoped that Wolffe could pull the stick out of his ass before Thorn swooped in and swept Fox off his boots.

Fox shifted and Ponds pulled him closer. Eventually, Ponds drifted off with Fox safe in his arms.

* * *

Ponds woke up with a snort, Fox was still dozing off in his arms. 

“Laam Fox’ika,” he nudged.

Fox groaned, snuggling further into Ponds’s chest. Ponds sighed, “up, big brother.”

Fox opened bleary eyes, and hissed at the light. Ponds chuckled and shifted Fox to the side. 

“Ponds?”

“I’m here Fox,” he mumbled.

“Ponds?” He asked again, his body trembled. Ponds pulled him back into his arms as he sputtered.

“He’s gone, he left, I-I,” Fox stumbled over his words.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Ponds hissed into his ear. Fox didn’t say anything, just sniffed. He pulled Fox away, and put a hand under his chin, meeting his sad eyes, “you deserve better than that.”

Fox shook his head, but didn’t argue out loud. Ponds wiped his tears off his face, pressing him into a Keldabe. 

“I-I thought you-you would leave too,” Fox sobbed. 

“We are aliit Fox, those shebs might be blind right now but I can assure you that no matter what you are my brother,” Ponds insisted. 

Fox didn’t look like he believed him, but once again didn’t argue. 

“Thank you,” he breathed and Ponds nodded, “thank you.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for,”

“So that’s it, years just gone,” Ponds got a decent idea of what he was on about, “we’re finished.”

“He’s finished, he’s being a di’kut and will regret it thoroughly,”

“It’s not just Wol- _ him _ ,” Fox’s hands tightened, “it’s Kote and Rex and Bly as well, it's all gone.”

“No. I’m still here and I have full intentions on beating some sense into those assholes,” Ponds spat, "I won't leave you so long as I have a breath in my body."

“Don’t bother,” he mumbled, “I don’t want to deal with this anymore, I cannot deal with it anymore.”

Ponds nodded, not bothering to interpret the comment, he was still going to lecture the shit out of everyone as soon as he saw them, “how’s Coruscant?”

“Shit,” 

Fox snorted, and started to move. Ponds moved with him and they both shuffled out to Fox’s desk. He dropped onto his chair and grabbed out a bottle of whiskey. He poured them each a glass and Ponds excepted it gratefully.

“How’s Windu?” Fox asked flippantly.

“Good, war and shit is going,” 

“Fun,”

“Yep,” Ponds chortled. 

Fox snorted into his drink, Ponds responded in kind. 

“To getting out of shit alive,” he saluted.

“To getting out of shit alive,” Fox toasted in return.

Fox cackled and Ponds chuckled. Fox gave him a thin smile and Ponds felt something bubble in his spine again. He pushed it down, and smiled back.

He pulled Fox into another Keldabe, “will you be okay?”

“I have to be,” Fox sighed, downing his whiskey and pouring another full glass. 

Ponds chuckled, and drank Fox’s whiskey. Fox pouted and Ponds’s comm chimed. 

“I’m sorry,” Ponds sighed.

“Duty calls, I understand,” Fox gave him a thin smile.

“Thank you, good luck Fox,” Ponds stood.

Fox nodded and stood to walk him to the door.

“Ponds,”

“Hm,”

Fox pressed him into a Keldabe, Ponds pressed his face further into Fox’s, “be safe.”

Ponds nodded, and he walked out. 

* * *

“What the  _ fuck _ ,” Ponds slammed his fist down in front of Wolffe’s surprised face.

“What?” Wolffe’s nose scrunched in pain, hand pressing into his bruised face,  _ oh his moronic little brother. _

“You  _ know what _ ,” Ponds hissed, and Cody blanched.

“Is this about Fox?”

“No, it’s about the Gungan Intelligence Crisis, yes it’s about Fox you absolute morons,”

“I don’t see the importance of this,” Rex took a shot, “he’s fine.”

Wolffe gave a slightly smug smirk, sipping at his wine, “he’s probably skulking out some bar off to ruin some poor bastards’ fun.”

Ponds glared at him, and Bly took a turn, “don’t get me wrong, I love Fox, but let’s be real here, Fox’s loyalties are more towards the Republic than us at this point.”

Ponds flipped his hands, tired of his siblings' absolute bullshit, finally shouting, "where’s your sense of brotherhood, he's our batchmate for kriffs sake!”

“Where’s your sense of pride! He’s senate scum, he is barely human much less a droid!” Cody spat back.

“Is that what you really think? That Fox would betray us?”

“He already did,” Cody growled, “he left me and my men in the dust when Kenobi was ‘dead’!” 

Ponds was tired of this tirade, Cody acting like Fox was omniscient and all-knowing. But Fox wasn’t, he was still just a man with limits and made mistakes.

“Do you really believe that they tell him anything?” 

“Who cares, he’s fecking Fox. He’s supposed to be smart, his position means he’s supposed to read between the lines,”

“Even if he did-”

“Just shut up, none of us want to hear about this anymore,” Rex slurred, leaning against Cody.

“Yeah Fox is a bastard, let’s just accept it and move on,” Wolffe growled.

Ponds was sick of this, he was sick of them all trashing Fox. He whirled on Wolffe, “you’re going to regret this, and when Fox moves on and leaves you all in the dust, I'll be there to give all the 'I told you so's'!” 

Ponds didn’t bother hearing them out, just turned and marched out. He was so angry, storming until he was at the Jedi Temple. 

He was at a conundrum, he could tell General Koon about Wolffe being a shit. He could tell Kenobi that his boyfriend had declared his ori’vod dar manda because Kenobi couldn’t deal with his feelings and that Cody was taking his anger out on Fox. He could talk to General Secura, but Bly wasn’t being an asshole at all times, just going along. Talking to Skywalker was out of the question, The Hero Without Fear and the Fearless Commander Fox did  _ not _ get along. Commander Tano, while she was sweet and intelligent, wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

There was General Windu, but Ponds didn’t want to bother him either. He wouldn’t be able to much, and while Mace cared about him, he couldn’t do much with the situation short of demand that they actually be decent human beings to their brother. 

And they would only resent Fox more.

But, he could talk to Thorn. Yeah, he could do that and threaten to annihilate Thorn’s ass if he hurt Fox since he knew that the other Commander would actually listen.

He commed Thorn to meet him at the temple. He responded with an immediate affirmative and Ponds sat in one of the common rooms. He then commed General Windu, requesting a few extra hours of leave for personal matters. Mace ever the saint, agreed without question, even offering to begin getting everything together. He really had the best general, despite what the others said.

He waited until he heard a knock. He shouted a greeting and Thorn hesitantly opened the door and spoke,

“I thought you were being sent out,” Thorn hissed.

“Mace offered, and I figured it was time to  _ talk _ ,” Ponds said, standing up and moving around Thorn, locking the door of the common room and turned to him, “and it’s time for me to issue warnings.”

Thorn bristled, and Ponds gestured to the seat across from him and he stalked and sat down. There was a moment of tense silence, and Ponds spoke up again,

“What are your intentions with my brother,”

“My inventions towards Wolffe are to beat the shit out of him until his eye falls out,” 

Ponds almost smiled, he knew that Thorn was avoiding the question based on his slight flush, “with Fox you moron.”

“He’s my best friend, nothing more, nothing less,” Thorn said assuredly.

Ponds hummed and gave him a blank look, knowing that that’s what their batch was known for. They all could stare whatever poor fucker down until they cracked.

“I’m telling the truth,” Thorn fidgeted. 

“I know you are, Fox speaks quite highly of you,” Ponds said, giving Thorn a look, “and I know the look you're giving him, it’s the same one Wolffe once gave him.”

“You dare!” Thorn shouted, face bright red and eyes narrowed, “how dare you compare me to  _ him _ .”

“I’m comparing you to how he once was,” Ponds responded calmly.

Thorn was still angry, but didn’t say anything more regarding Wolffe, just growled, “I don’t have feelings for Fox.” 

Oh,  _ so he’s repressed _ , Ponds thought. Ponds leaned forward, hands under his chin, “do you remember how Fox was, before all this?”

“Yes,” Thorn said, eyes shining, “a complete smart ass, slight and curious, nimble and brilliant.” 

Ponds chuckled, looking at Thorn’s starstruck look, “mhmm, no feelings towards Fox.”

“Kriff off,” Thorn flared.

Ponds hummed, “how is it?”

“It’s going,” 

Ponds nodded, “I’m going out soon, but I need you to know, if there was an occurrence that I don’t make it back, take care of him.”

Thorn stared back at him dangerously, “I always have.”

“I know, but I’m telling you this, whether I’m alive or dead, hurt him or I’ll kick your ass straight to haran.”

Thorn softened slightly, but gave him a stubborn look and nodded. 

Ponds stood up, and held out his hand. Thorn took the gesture, grasping his hand and shaking it.

“Take care of him,” Ponds repeated, softening, “he gets in his head, and I cannot always be there to pull him out.”

“I will,” Thorn promised solemnly. 

“Thank you,” Ponds said, and like clockwork, his comm chimed. 

He nodded and walked out, nodding to the jedi that passed him and making his way to the hanger. A feeling of dread riding through his spine.

* * *

Fox's hands shook as he held the report. 

As of a week ago CC-6454 was dead, a blasterbolt to the head by Aurra Sing in a bid for Mace Windu's life.

The aforementioned general stood in front of him, grief in his eyes and anger in his stature.

"Is that all," Fox chocked out, desperate to be alone in his grief.

"He always spoke quite highly of you Commander," General Windu said softly, moving to grab what appeared to one of Ponds's vembraces from his robes, "I think he would have wanted me to give this to you, I'm sorry."

Fox's head bowed as he read all their names inside, his final batchmate was gone, mere days after the promise of always staying, "thank you General, for what it's worth, he thought the world of you, and I don't believe that the events that took place for this to occur are on your shoulders."

The general didn't comment, "I'll leave you to your grief, may the force be with you Commander."

"Thank you," Fox said, looking up from the last piece of his brother "General, you are a good man, one of the few I can say I've met."

Windu looked at Fox once more, nodded, and left. 

And Fox broke.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Towards the Sun- Rihanna (Home).


End file.
